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Monday, August 23, 2010

the start of my blogging life!

well hi...its me...nikki, for some reason i thought i'd start a blog...i've made a few personal 'ah ha' moments in last 8 months and alot of it is a combination of my work and personal life that brought these on...

in 2 weeks time at this point in time i will be getting 3 new tattoos done, and each tattoo i have ever had has either brought on questions-why why why...or judgement - if i get more tattoos i'll look like a biker chick...without the people even bothering to ask if they will be bold or light or even asking what they will  be...u know what...wait and see if u don't want to ask and then decide if u like it or not...or biker chick or not...and if u don't like it...ur entitled to your opinion but if u can't say anything nice don't say anything at all...or if u must say something keep it small and simple if u don't like it...ur feedback is appreciated but not always needed

like always work has it's ups and downs but due to our 'no blogging' policy it's 'off limits' though i can say that there have been many a times that i've craved focus pads and boxing gloves if only i had someone to help me with the focus pads at the time...but i'm also queen of being a sponge...absorbing all that i see and hear and using that information wisely...plus the fact that i am deciding to channel that inner frustrations into turning me into a better person from the inside out...

i've learnt that many people have an inner beauty as well as an outer beauty ...BUT that is not always the case...quite often that outer beauty is more apparent than the inner ugliness or the not so 'model material' outer appearence...like me and many other average lookers or less than average lookers that are out there...their inner beauty is much more appealing

(disclamer -  when i refer to my bf it IS NOT my 'boyfriend' i am happily married and my BF is a reference to 'best friend' BF-M  is my male best friend and BF-F is my female best friend...i'd rather use that than their names out of respect for them)

i have known bf-m for 3 or 4 years but been in better contact for last 8 months or so and he lives overseas and i have known bf-f since mid last year and she lives interstate now
these are the people i have come to rely quite alot now...my social group in the city i live in is VERY small...less than a dozen people and probably most of which i don't often see as much as i'd like...but apart from 1 friend who visits on a weekly basis for drinks with hubby i now know that i can at least be appreciated for who i am by at least 4 or 5 people in life all of which mean the world to me...their support for me being me is 90% of the time the only thing that keeps me going in life...even when i feel so down that loneliness is  all i feel ... guarenteed one of the 4-5 people will say or do something that will stop the tears or make me smile...something as small as a kiss from hubby or talking about sparkles the wonder vamp with BF-m or twilight theme'd tattoo's with BF-F or a txt conversation with teacher friend or a silly weekend night with hubby and my friend. or even the unexpected 'hope ur ok' kind of msg from random fb friend just mean the world to me...especially the 'shoutout' msg from 1 usa friend and his friend...no idea why they did it or how it came to be but to wake up feeling like hell with the flu to see that sent via twitter just literally made my day much more live-able...

while growing up i was the keeper of many a personal diary...one i would often write in daily to log my thoughs on my latest crush or my first boyfriend or how my parents just didn't understand teenage me kinda junk...with the exception for the 'blogging policy' work has, and this being a 'blog' ... work may be frequently brought up but moreso in the way of good day bad day kind of deal...but the details will be not for hear...but this is the new technological very overdue way for me to get my thoughts and feelings and just me being random me onto 'paper' kind of thing...just with the keyboard and screen kind of affect...

i will not appologise if i say things that may offend as this is my uncensored (exception of work) me...but i do appreciate any comments throughout my blogs and will answer any questions public or private depending on circumstances...but welcome to ME!!

2 comments:

  1. omg loving the blog so far u go girl! i should start one my self sometime lol

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  2. What a great read Nikki..Well done and well said.....you are a very amazing person and never forget that..
    And sometimes when it comes to friends having just a select few that you will always know will be there are better than hundreds that you may never see :)
    Can't wait for the next installment
    P.S. It's Wendy :)

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